Still alive, yo.

Oh no, not yet dead. Just dormant; maybe a bit undead now that I think about it.  Now that I’ve got a few free hours, I think it’s time I updated and spruced things up a bit here.

What happened to me, anyway?

Work has been an unforgiving mistress. A couple of promotions later and I have more responsibilities than ever, plus taking a college degree online for credits. Enriching one’s self is always a good thing, even if it meant leaving a blog on the sidelines for a while. Shit was SO cash, y’know?

I’m busy being metro, as always. I feel like I’m in the best shape of my life — yet. I have a ways to go before the six pack. Determination and encouragement from my personal trainer really got me jacked on working out.

Of course, you can’t have Metro Gamer without games. I’ve been playing World of Warcraft. Quite a bit, to tell you the truth. I dropped my Undead Warlock and started a Blood Elf Paladin.

Hey, don’t judge. Blood elves are the only good-looking horde race after all.

Even with my extremely casual playing time, I’ve managed to bring him up to 79. 79 brah! He’s only a few bubbles shy of 80. I really feel like dinging 80 tonight but it’s a maintenance Tuesday, so meh.

A lot has happened – maybe I’ll let you guys know more as we go.

Tidbit #2: Facing tough opposition? No worries, your countless Bastion Stair runs will serve you well in this situation.

When you’re out with friends and looking to hook up, you’re bound to run into a group of the opposite sex. Like any PUG or premade, groups in real life are made up of a mixture of classes. You’ve got promiscuous Witch Elves, demure Sorceresses, slightly weird Magi and of course, the Greenskin Cockblocker(tm) careers. What’s a bro gotta do?

Pull Cockblocker aggro and engage the chicks.

Designate someone from the group to tank the orcish women while the rest of the group engages the squishies. Mmm, squishie in more than one way. The tank must have lots of stamina, unparalleled endurance and utmost tolerance for drink-spilling, noisy mates. Designated tankers are true heroes – full of confidence and charm. Don’t let his sacrifice be in vain – be cool and impress the ladies with your pointy hats.

WAR Teamplay Tidbits was inspired by the Herald’s original WAR Teamplay Guide. See Teamplay Tidbit 1.

WAR is everywhere. It is unforgiving. The weak shall perish and only those who work together will survive.

At least, that’s what the Mythic WAR Teamplay guide says. And wise words they are. In fact, you can use WAR teamplay philosophies in real life. Why, for example, at the club:

Don't be a showoff.

Sure, you might be the hot shiznats on the dance floor but you just might attract unwanted attention. While your buds are busy chatting up other people, you’ll be taking heavy fire from some unsavory babes. Just think of your wallet and your sexual health afterwards.

Also, don’t be a wallflower like the Shadow Warrior. Never a good time.

The people have spoken and they have decreed that Fergie should be played not more than an hour a day… Wow, that’s 5 hours more than what I log.

So far, Fergie’s been in the service for 7 hours and most of his screenshots were face first on the floor.

Not a good sign.

People in Skull Throne also didn’t want much to do with Fergie. Unless if it involved short shorts. Is this the sorry state that Archmages are in? Will they be doomed to a life of ridicule and bath robes? What will happen to Fergie? Keep tabs on the Casual Community WAR Experiment and find out.

I also love being lazy.

A certain Wide Eyed Newb took down 10 of his pet peeves for Warhammer Online. Stuff that you can live with but can’t help but ignore.

Kinda like that annoying guy at work, an itch on your back that you can’t reach, stubborn bangs on a bad hair day or acute bronchitis.

Waaagh, being the forefront of WAR bloggery and general foofery, has some of Syp’s peeves and anti-peeves. So begins the bandwagon-jumping!

10 WAR Pet Peeves

1. The WAR Client. Because alienating low-end PC users is capitalist! Actually, I just want to be able to play without having to upgrade worth an arm and a leg. Also, getting the jump on an unsuspecting Witch Elf and having your laptop just freeze just gets on my nerves.

2. “In-between Zones.” Don’t you just hate it when T2 open RvR happens just in the middle of Ostland and Troll Country? A dead pause, you zone and suddenly everyone’s gone. Oh, they’re back on the other side! Partially related to #1.

3. The UI. When I set my UI in a certain way, it means I want it saved that way. When I start editing it, don’t show stuff I already hid and don’t put it back in the default place.

4. Unreadable Nameplates. Zoom out and the text for names, guilds and titles just turn to unreadable garbage.

5. Career Whiners. I hope we don’t get to the point where every career is at Archmage effectiveness. Nerf this! Nerf that! My class is inferior to yours, you should be nerfed! I saw a video of class xx dominate xx number of players, OP! Burn them at the stake!

6. Black Orcs. They. Just. Won’t. DIE.

7. Scenarios at off-peak times. Or rather, the lack of it. I haven’t gotten into a scenario in roughly two weeks. Is Ironclaw dead? One good scenario would’ve knocked some of my Night of Murder tasks out of the park but I never saw one pop at all.

8. Fall Damage. Everyone in WAR can shrug off getting burned, chopped, sliced, bludgeoned, smashed, seared, bitten and clawed but falling 10-15 feet is a death wish. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for all the places with cliffs and ledges that litter scenarios and BOs.

9. Getting Steamrolled in Khaine’s Embrace. The forces of Destruction have captured Dance of Swords. The forces of Destruction have captured Death’s Charge. The forces of Destruction brings forth Khaine’s Wrath. The forces of Destruction have captured Dance of Swords. The forces of Destruction have captured Death’s Charge. The forces of Destruction brings forth Khaine’s Wrath. The forces of Destruction have captured Dance of Swords. The forces of Destruction have captured Death’s Charge. The forces of Destruction brings forth Khaine’s Wrath. The forces of Destruction have captured Dance of Swords. The forces of Destruction have captured Death’s Charge. The forces of Destruction brings forth Khaine’s Wrath.

10. Logging in 15 minutes before Oceanic maintenance. Oh wow, I got home early. Time for some Wa-FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

I wonder how many run-on sentences I left in this post.

So what do I do? Jump on the bandwagon on a Monday, of course! Memes are like fresh ammo for the blank mind. Instead of copy pasting patch notes and interviews, Syp wants to know what you like about WAR. Your Seven Favorites, to be exact.

• Favorite Zone – I’ve no idea what T3 and T4 look like, and the majority of my WAR career has been in the Empire. Troll Country takes my cake because it’s the first time you get dangerously close with the enemy, Chaos warcamps just a few stone throws away. Hiding behind trees, huge PQs and watching out for roaming warbands – the intensity just ramps up from T1.
• Favorite Race – Empire or Elf, only because they look like they take showers… sometimes.
• Favorite Career – Warrior Priest. I don’t have to explain, right?
• Favorite WAR Feature – Friendly Targeting! No more juggling between healing and enemy targets, you get one for each. As a WP, you can set and forget as you go melee healing-crazy.
• Favorite Skill – Rampaging Siphon is a blast to use in the thick of battle. Watching green numbers fly by as you deal a chunk of damage never gets old.
• Favorite Scenario – Phoenix Gate because of how conflict is inevitable. And maybe because it’s also where I get the highest numbers.
• Favorite Live Event – I find myself favoring Heavy Metal the most because of the innovative scenario which I got to run a few times.

This list isn’t much of a ‘favorites’ because… it’s all that I’ve ever done, really.

By the way, if you haven’t checked Portraits of WAR yet, go do it now. The author draws using inspiration from Games Workshop and Warhammer. Here is one example:

Endings and Beginnings

THE GOOD NEWS

1. Got a spacious new computer desk and an ergonomic chair

2. The boss gave me a pay raise

3. A sudden 5-day vacation

THE BAD NEWS

3 of the 5 days I spent in bed, assailed by snotlings in open RvR. Respiratory versus Respiratory. An acute case of bronchitis.

Every time I sat in front of the laptop, my head aches and my eyes burn if I stare at the monitor for more than 5 minutes.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I snuck in a few feverish minutes grinding for the Night of Murder tasks. So far, I’ve done the PvE ones and zilch on the RvR objectives.

The thing is, I couldn’t get a scenario to pop since… last week. Killing keep lords is another thing. I think my WAR is broken – the multiplayer and RvR part isn’t working!

Or I should play moar/play during primetime/get some friends to play. Heck, I haven’t been blogging properly.

But you see, that’s the perfect example of a metrosexual gamer – too busy to do everything! Agh, my head is killing me.

Tomorrow comes Valentine’s Day and I’ll be spending it with the girlfriend. Stay classy, bros.

Thank Sigmar for dilligent, well-informed, and organized people. Thank Sigmar for the internet.

- You can’t go wrong with the Herald. Can’t get straighter than the horse’s mouth.

- The Warhammer Alliance keeps tabs on the WARfront, peppering us with news and snippets from all things Mark Jacobs, William Shatner and Rosie O’Donnell.

- The pundits from the Age of Blogging, of course! January has come and gone but the blogs are here to stay. They’ve pretty much said whatever there is to say about the announcements and has kept my supposed work hours un-boring. Totally cash, bro. Girl IRL, Rainbow MMO, and Shadow WAR are just some of the fine blogs that I’ve been reading – go ahead and check out Blog Warhammer for more.

I spent yesterday playing, trying to get as much influence as I can for Night of Murder. Cecillia’s got up to basic rewards just by hunting Marked for Death targets in T1. Totally worthwhile rewards, better than Keg End if I think about it.

Filler post, because I’m burnt out on the 3 blogs I write for at work.

Tell him what he won, Vanna!

We previously touched on pig grease and bloody valentines, all netting positive responses from the Warhammer Online community. As of writing, there are eight Valentine cards that bloggers have uncovered, each with a corresponding number and letter. Numbered from 1-13, the mysterious letters, so far, are as follows:

1. ?
2. T
3. ?
4. I
5. ?
6. T
7. N
8. ?
9. V
10. E
    
11. R
12. A
    
13. ?

It spells out something that doesn’t quite make sense:

_ T _ I _ T N _ V E R A _

The sadistic Wheel of Fortune puzzle is most likely jumbled. It does seem to have the word ‘Valentine’ in it, given that it is a Valentine’s Day event. But who knows?

Update: Regis is all set and stylish with his tinfoil hat and conspiracy theories. The ‘E’ could also be an ‘L’, he says. Is this another mind game or just a case of bad handwriting?

Graisse de Porc

It’s a slow day at the office; perfect for catching up with all the new blogs from the Age of Blogging. The Warhammer Online community is ablaze with news of hair products, Schwarzenegger DVDs and bloody valentine cards. The bros at Mythic have been sending packages to bloggers, having them solve a riddle and get the word out. If we were to talk about money well-spent, Mythic certainly has the PR dudes earning their keep.

Update 1/27 9:18PM GMT +8: There are other cards at Rainbow MMO and Epic Slant. The plot thickens.

Update 1/28 4:35PM GMT +8: LagWar and Stylish Corpse receive their bloody valentines. The suspense is killing me!

Update 1/28 5:10PM GMT +8: A random envelope arrives at /Random.

The first two packages strongly hint at the upcoming Dwarf Slayer and Greenskin Choppa – badass melee classes that smelt of Garnier Nutrisse and Austrian testosterone respectively. Solid careers, but not really my thing.

Okay, the thought of orange mohawks and pig grease-styling is kinda amusing.

With the positive response from these marketing stunts, now we have Valentine cards. There are at least 13 and 3 7 8 of those have been sent to Keen & Graev, Asuryan’s Flames, Rainbow MMO, Epic Slant, LagWar, Stylish Corpse, Werit, and /Random. The cards contain poems, bloody splatters and black kisses – reminds me of my last ex-girlfriend.

What could these cards signify? Regis over at Wizards & Wenches thinks that it could be a portent for Death Night (not Death Knights, nimrod), a Dark Elf ritual chock-full of murder, sacrifice and Druchii lesbian orgies.

Okay, I made the last one up.

Nice mental image, though.

The whole thing is still a mystery. Somewhere, a mailman is holding one of ten six five remaining pieces of the puzzle; a key to the twisted awesome mind of Paul Barnett and his crafty marketing department. Gotta love these kinda events.

Much love. Now if you could just send one of those brand name pig grease products my way.

Thanks to Regis for the image